Nicki’s “Better Beginnings”story

Thank you Nicki for sharing some of your story. Real Moms, real life- not always what we are told to expect. Nicki entrusted the Better Beginnings team to partner in her health.

“My Better Beginnings story started 3 years after my daughter was born. I never in a million years thought that I would still be battling my PPD (postpartum depression) & OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) for this long. I knew something wasn’t right a few weeks after she was born, where I was starting to have extreme anxiety, panic attacks and racing thoughts on something bad always happening to her.

This not only affected my home life but also took a toll on my everyday life. I sought help from my primary care provider and it was always, “here just try this pill and come back in 30 days for a checkup.” I would take my “magic” pill, feel a little better and then just stop. It wasn’t until the beginning of 2019 year when things really started to get out of hand. I could feel myself slowly start down that rabbit hole again. To that place I didn’t want to be. I was angry all the time, my anxiety was sky high, I didn’t want to get out of bed or having anything to do with my family. I just wanted to be left alone.  I finally called my friend who recommended Better Beginnings. I told her there was no way I was still going through this. My daughter was 3! She ending up calling for me and gave me the number to call and speak with them. I sat on that number all morning because I was petrified. I didn’t want to talk about all my deep, dark thoughts or my feelings. I didn’t want to feel like the crazy mom who couldn’t get her life together, and I sure didn’t want to be judged. 

I finally got the nerve up to call because I just wanted to get better. When I spoke with Better Beginnings, they took the time and really listened to me and told me I was not alone. They suggested I come in for an appointment right away and they were able to see me that same afternoon.  When I got there the office environment is so warm and inviting. I felt very comfortable.  Once I sat down and started talking to my therapist, she explained to me that I was still very much suffering from PPD as well as OCD, noting the time it all began was related to pregnancy and postpartum.

I took the plunge and took a week off work and did the five day/week Mother/Baby PHP (partial hospitalization program- all outpatient). It was so worth it for my health and to my family and I. I have learned many ways to help cope and work through my thoughts and emotions.”